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Can You See Me Now?

November 2, 2009

As I said in my previous post, this is my third year for NaBloPoMo, but my first year doing so publicly. The past 2 years I’ve done NaBloPoMo on my private blog that only a handful of people know about.

I’ve been asked why I have an anonymous blog, especially now that I have this blog. Truth be told, sometimes I just need a safe place to vent…to get those thoughts that are running rampant in my head out so they are no longer haunting me. To get them out so others can comfort me or tell me I’m silly for thinking that way.

Why not post those things here? I don’t know…for fear of being seen as weak or maybe its because I don’t want to disrupt the thoughts you already have about me. I can say that I struggle with a lot of things…probably some of the same things you struggle with. I have insecurities and doubts. Don’t you?

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, my hope is to be more transparent and honest about things and to use this blog to do so. I still have my anonymous blog and post there every now and then, but I hope to use it less and less as I realize that I’m not alone in my discouragement and doubts.

Don’t get me wrong…life is good right now; really good. I’m excited to use this next month to push myself away from my private blog and to share my thoughts here…whether they are only for me to read or not.

So help me know I’m not alone. Tell me something you wished you could share more openly with others. Be as broad or as specific as you want, just help me know I’m not alone;

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 2, 2009 9:47 pm

    You are definitely not alone. For me, being more open about my goals without freaking people out would be nice. It’s tough to blog about starting “a company built on awesomeness” without freaking out the CEO of your day job. That’s what I wish I could be more open about (I guess I just have.) Keep up the NaBloPoMo goodness.

    • November 29, 2009 6:00 pm

      So what’s keeping you from being open about goals? You can never control how they will react to what you say. Granted, in the job setting, it’s a little tougher to be as open as you want to be. Maybe share those goals and action steps with the CEO and get their blessing…then rock it out!

      And my apologies for not responding sooner to this. I’ve been a slacker.

  2. melissajunrowley permalink
    November 2, 2009 9:52 pm

    You are not alone:) Confessional journalism, confessional blogging, whatever you want to call it is cleansing for the soul. Some of the best most profound and prolific artists and writers do their best work when they’re working through trauma, pain and discouragement. I feel that sharing our fears and doubts with one another brings us closer together, and helps us find ways to overcome those pretend obstacles. It helps us see that none of those things are real. It helps us heal. It makes us stronger. It show us that we’re all beautifully human. Love you, baby girl!

    • November 29, 2009 6:02 pm

      You’re absolutely right about confessional writing. It’s so freeing to just get it out there. I think my bigger fear here is being transparent and thinking it may be used against me at some point. You know how things go in the ‘social media community’. THAT’S what scares me.

  3. melissajunrowley permalink
    November 2, 2009 9:58 pm

    Oh..and I wish that I shared more of my views and feelings on never meeting my birth parents. Sometimes I think I haven’t been a good enough daughter to the parents that raised me. People ask me about being adopted frequently. They ask is I want to go find my biological family. I say that I have looked into it in the past because I have. But the truth is, I think in some way I am numb or completely scared to do so.

    • November 29, 2009 6:04 pm

      I can see the logic in this. You’ve grown up knowing who you are for all your life and will knowing the truth about your birth parents change any of that? No–you are who you are. I can’t imagine being in this situation, but know that I support you in whatever you do. If you ever want to chat/vent/question, you know you can call me. 😉

  4. November 3, 2009 5:00 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong with blogging in several places at once. Transparence is good, but I want the entries to belong thematically. I have a private blog which I never really use, it’s for REALLY deep and messed up stuff that I wouldn’t show anyone outside of my boyfriend and family. It’s password protected everywhere. I just started a strictly professional blog yesterday (yay!), so I guess now the blog I had before will be just a melange of semi-personal and semi-professional. And… I have gots to get me some Tumblr action! I’ve had it for years and it’s just an RSS feed of my tweets and blogs. Not cute.

    • November 29, 2009 6:06 pm

      The thought of maintaining multiple blogs terrifies me…I mean, look at how well I keep up with this one. 😉 Hope the professional blog is going well!

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