“What do you do?”
This is one of the questions we ask most often. I know I’m asked this very question all the time, yet don’t know how to answer it sometimes. Why is this such a difficult question for me to answer? Maybe it’s because I don’t know what I want to do. This is something that causes moments of panic and fear, especially recently.
I’ve had dreams shattered and plans come to an abrupt halt. I think these past experiences keep me from dreaming about what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve learned that even when I dream or plan, I have to live in the moment as I never know what could happen tomorrow.
Hold on…now that I think about it, I do have dreams; just not my own. I enjoy talking with others about what they are working on and encourage them to ‘just do it!’ Heck, I even do what I can to make their dreams become a reality. I don’t know why I can’t find that same UMPH for my own dreaming.
I posted on Twitter the other day, “Sometimes I wonder which is scarier…not knowing what I want from life or figuring it out and then not being able to achieve it/failing.” The responses that came back from the Twitterverse were overwhelming (yes, it’s long, but I want to see all the responses here for future reference!)
I still don’t know which I think is scarier, not having a dream to chase or chasing it and not achieving it. I don’t even know where to start in order to try to figure this out, which just frustrates me even more. I’m a planner and to not have a plan for my life terrifies me. I mean, it’s my LIFE, HELLO?!?! I should have some idea as to what I want to do with it, right?
I do know that I want to be in control of my schedule, always do things I enjoy, and be passionate about what I’m doing. There’s so much more on this, but yes, I’m avoiding the issues at hand. I know they’re there…I’m just not ready to face them. 🙂 More about this once I get out of this funk…promise.
In the meantime, maybe I’ll just join the circus…
**Thanks to @ericaogrady for taking me to Trapeze School. Yes, this is really me.